Want more self control?
The secret to self control may surprise you.
It's not willpower or discipline.
The secret to self control is self validation. Keep reading, I promise it makes sense.
Self validation is not egotistic, self righteous or narcissistic.
Self validation is the ability to be with yourself though good times and hard times with honesty, understanding, kindness, and compassion.
When we learn the skill of self validation, we can more easily regulate our feelings and behaviors.
When we get caught up in negative self judgment we want to escape. We overwork, overeat, over drink, overspend, or whatever else we can do to get away from the inner critic.
That makes sense, doesn't it?
Here's what doesn't make sense.
Most of us are way more comfortable judging ourselves than we are at validating ourselves. We're used to being disappointed or upset with ourselves, focusing on our shortcomings. When someone brings up the idea of self validation, we get all uneasy. We think that means we're self absorbed, selfish, "too big for our britches". (Did I just date myself?!)
If you want better control over your eating, feelings or other behaviors, the secret is learning the skill of self validation.
Practice being kind to yourself today, that's a great start! Happy Friday!
Until next time,